NOURISH U with Salema Veliu
NOURISH U with Salema Veliu
The Unease of Using I, Sisterhood, Radical Self Care and Confidence in Menopause
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The Unease of Using I, Sisterhood, Radical Self Care and Confidence in Menopause

Your invitation to Nourishment
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woman in white and pink dress

this week: your invitation to nourishment

  • a short but sweet reflective post on sisterhood and a potent women’s cohort gathering.

  • recommendations: apps and credited specialists to educate, track, inform and nourish your changing journey and what helps me.

  • a sprinkling of radical self care prompts.

  • a poem for change in menopause


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Sitting in a contemplative and generous and precious space this past week with a group of liked minded sisters in a cohort with

one thing came to the forefront - the importance of sisterhood, being heard and the unease that we all sometimes experience from being the caregiver.

As l sat and listened, l mean really listened to the other women’s life stories, the challenges and motivations to move forward both physically and mentally, l began to feel a deeper resonance with them, a sisterhood of sorts. Strangers united in a common cause - how to flourish, how to give, how to express and how to communicate what we experience and what we need.

After my turn to speak, l was guided back to the importance of practicing a deeper of of awareness, care, love and respect for myself, by using I when l spoke to the group about my journey, values and motivations. I found this observation and comment from my mentor especially potent and nourishing, especially after surfing the wave of my partner’s journey with depression.

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l feel that the concept of sisterhood; friendships and relationships became a little distorted and lost in the void of the pandemic. I’m not sure if you noticed it in your circle? But in mine all of my relationships changed, including the one with myself.

Women, by nature are natural born care givers, we can’t help it is embedded in our DNA and re-enforced by societal norms and conditioning. However, during the perimenopause and menopause cycle, instead of giving all the time we need to make time for ourselves. Learning what we need during this transition change, how to ask for it and how to stay close to ourselves can be a real challenge, like Halle Berry recently said in an interview ‘ l thought l could just skip Menopause, it won’t happen to me”. Whilst, some women sail through Menopause without experiencing any of the symptoms, they are in the minority. With healthcare professionals generally lacking specific Menopausal training as Dr Mary Claire Haver mentions in the USA, unfortunately it is exactly the same here in the UK. Therefore, doing your research to advocate for yourself becomes paramount to ensure mental, emotional and structural stability to enjoy this period of change rather than dread it.


The theme of sisterhood continued into my week, this time surfacing as l sat in my hairdresser’s chair. Being asked how l was? Although there was only myself and another lady present, l found myself inadvertently blurting out ‘Oh l feel so much better since l started HRT!’. With that comment, the conversational space opened up giving us a common ground to share our experiences and learn from each other, what a beautiful thing, menopause being the common thread that would unite us, strangers.

As l sat in my chair, l shared some of the apps and official research that l had been reading for clarity in a world full of disinformation, on certain topics around menopausal health. During our conversation, the other client said something that really struck me, ‘We now have the control to decide how we go through these years, even if it means advocating for ourself’- wow so true.

The women of today, are incredibly lucky. We have the some amazing individuals advocating for women’s health to be at the top of the agenda rather than at the bottom. Specialists in their respected fields they often share their frustration as well as ours with the lack of qualified professionals to help women during these years.

Many amazing podcasts and substack’s including some of the following listed below, whom give us the necessary information needed to make an informed decision about how we want to proceed with our life in the 2nd Act- this is radical self care this is taking our power back.

Reclaiming our power, ultimately effects our confidence, something too that can be easily lost due to changes in our brains during the menopausal journey. Therefore, beginning to use the I statement in our communications can help empower us to change our narrative in how we move forward.

- Salema


My go to list:

These are just some of the amazing women, if you don’t know them already leading the cause for better health at every stage of menopause.

DR LISA MOSCONI - Neuroscientist -Women’s Brain Health

DR MARY CLAIRE HAVER - Dr. Mary Claire Haver, MD, FACOG, MSCP is a board-certified Obstetrics and Gynaecology specialist, a Menopause Society Certified Practitioner (formerly the North American Menopause Society (NAMS)), a Certified Culinary Medicine Specialist from, and a passionate entrepreneur and best-selling author with a focus on women’s health.

DR JEN GUNTER - OB/GYN, author of The Vagina Bible and The Menopause Manifesto

DR Kelly Casper - Urologist - Empowering women in midlife. Urologist, Tedx Speaker, Thought Leader 🎧Podcaster: You Are Not Broken™️

Dr Salas Whalen - Endocrinologist

Dr Vona Wright - Orthopedic surgeon


APPS TO TRACK yourself and symptoms

I’ve always used an app to track my cycle as well as any symptoms throughout each month on my apple health app. However, now taking HRT as well as vitamin supplements, l wanted to record when l take these and if and when l experience any symptoms.

  • Also it is worth remembering (after doing a lot of research) that not all menopause supplements are compatible with HRT, therefore do you research and if your not sure contact the vitamin/supplement company to ask.

  • One recommended supplement that says you can take alongside HRT is

    the Health & Her Menopause Multi-Nutrient Support Supplement 60 Capsules.

  • Balance with Dr Louise Newson

  • Health and Her


    Essential oils can also help one of my favourites that gives clarity and generally makes me feel better is peppermint.

two black bottles on persons hand

Elena’s Guide

Oilsformenopause
161KB ∙ PDF file
Download
Download


Radical Self Care Prompts

  • where, what and how is your energy being directed

  • what are you releasing?

  • how are you caring for yourself?

  • how are you feeling?

  • what is your vision/intentions for your life, health and relationships pre, during and post menopause

  • what do you need to take more notice of?

  • what is your body telling and showing you?

  • what does support look like for you?

  • how are you communicating what you need from yourself and others?


It goes without saying that everyone is different, what works for one does not always mean that it will work for you, (l know l state the obvious). But there are always certain things to consider due to your family and self health history. Therefore, do your research, speak to a licensed professional to arm yourself with trusted knowledge and then come to informed decision on how you want to move forward, advocate for yourself.


GET INVOLVED, ADVOCATE FOR BETTER WOMENS HEALTH

A Citizens Guide To Menopause Policy The Pause Life 2
1.27MB ∙ PDF file
Download
Download

A poem for menopause

Artwork by Andy Denzler

Unfolding Your Myth

Light mirrors life

Reflecting back what we have chosen to ignore

Uncovering undiscovered depths

We find ourselves Answering enquiries through a different lens

Helping us breathe again

Into a new experience we go

Not knowing what lays ahead or which way to go

Breathing again

Somehow finding the path

Illuminating forgotten insights and depths

A reminder of all that has been and what yet awaits

Breathing again

We unfold our own myth


Thank you for being here, reading, listening and sharing my work. I hope you may benefit in some way from the insights and practices provided to help you navigate your personal and life’s ever changing landscape.

Nourishing Life is a combination of a contemplative podcast exploring the curiosities and complexities of life, providing various insights from science, nature, zen & various philosophies to help heal and inspire longevity. All of this coming to you from my floating lodge on the water in Cambridge, England.

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