This week l share a heartfelt piece with you from my personal experience of living with someone who has clinical depression and thoughts of suicide.
I’ve been thinking of writing about the experience and learnings from my journey thus far for a while, but it is a hugely personal and vulnerable undertaking to do so and until now, l just didn’t feel l had the strength nor even a handle on it to do so.
That being said, l really wanted to do something to raise awareness and support for those who have mental health disorders and for the loved ones around them (like myself). Alongside the processes you have to undertake and the support currently available.
In less you’ve being living under a rock the last decade, then you’ll be aware of the rising epidemic of mental health disorders, especially clinical depression and suicide.
Even now we are facing an unprecedented epidemic of mental health disorders of seismic proportions (not helped by Covid 19). However, before the pandemic there were causes for concern amongst the medical psychological professions of not having enough qualified therapists to meet demand. Sadly, this has only got a lot worse since Covid.
In this week’s podcast, l explore some of the other concerns surrounding mental health and the serious lack of proper support to help those suffering and their loved ones.
Having experienced albeit very briefly during Covid 19 a period of depression and anxiety. l was lucky enough to find my way through with some professional support, yoga and meditation re cultivating my resilience in the process.
Whilst in the past l’ve provided some service to those with mild stress and anxiety, l have never treated anyone with serious depression. Why? Well mainly, because l’m not qualified to do so (even through l have a foundational degree in Cognitive Experiment Psychology). Secondly, it is such a complex field to navigate. However, what l have learn’t and experienced as a result of my studies is a basic understanding of how our brains work and how that effects our behaviours. Proving to be an invaluable source of help in rising to my most recent challenges.
Today, again l speak from first hand experience, on this occasion not about my struggles, but those of my partner.
One of the most interesting and complex things that l’ve had real difficulty with has been understanding the difference in my mindset and beliefs to that of my partners. What l mean by that is how l choose to see things even the most darkness of times. Somehow l still manage to cling onto hope and optimism. Yet, my partner just cannot muster any remnants of either. Instead preferring just to sleep (and not wake up - his words and not mine). Something that l cannot simply identify with, being the opposite of having experienced so much death from an early age and traumas along the way, l still love life.
So what can you do in that situation? Well firstly l’ve been working on my wounded inner child natter of, ‘oh well it can’t really love me if thats the way he wants to go’ etc, etc, which l’m not lying has been personally very challenging to balance that with loving kindness. My mentor
had some wise words 'just listen’ and don’t try to fix. That being said, sometimes that just isn’t enough and due to the seriousness of my partners illness, clinical interventions had to be made.THE CONCERNING LACK OF THE THERAPISTS COUCH
Growing up and watching TV shows and movies there was always someone in therapy. In American culture a visit to a therapist was/is considered normal just like going to the dentist. Yet in the UK (always behind the US), it still has not really reached the same accord.
Hopeful that my partner would get the help he needed and indeed be invited to a therapists couch for some proper life assessment, we were presented with the absolute opposite (here in the UK). A systematic catastrophic failure. I feel l can talk openly and honestly about how the system works here because l’ve been through the whole journey and as of yet we still have not received a satisfactory outcome.
This is what you are generally subjected to here in the UK as a patient:
See the doctor who refers you to the local mental health team (generally waiting time 4 -8 weeks).
If you about to self harm call 111 or 999 or go to A&E.
After the referral to the local mental health team you are often offered some form of talking therapy normally CBT (which by the way does not always help, dependent on the type of mental health disorder you have). CBT is not a problem solve for clinical depression FYI.
If you are requesting to see a Psychiatrist because you’ve tried everything else this is now not possible via the doctors or the NHS here in the UK. Doctors have to go via a third party Psychiatrist (who does not see the patient and instead relies on information from the doctor who is not a Psychologist for a diagnosis and recommended treatment options. Generally medicate medicate medicate! Is the cure here in the UK. Instead of finding the root cause (normally through some childhood and/or traumatic event).
Pay privately (if you can afford it) typically £180 for 30 minutes consultation and assessment. However, even the last two that my partner saw only spoke about upping and adding to his medication.
I cannot tell you how many times that my partner has been on the brink of self harming and not wanting to continue with his life over the past year.
What to do? What l could l do? Heartbreaking, there have been times when l feel my heart has been broken over and over again because no-one really helps. Plus reminders of how l felt when my father passed away as a child and again later in life when l lost my best friend, my mama, resurfacing. It was tough.
What l realised during this time was how this was beginning to effect my sunny outlook, mental and general health. Which also got me to thinking of others who are living with similar challenges and situations.
Who can you speak to about what your going through?
How on earth can others even begin to understand unless they have gone through something similar?
These were/are just some of the questions that were/are bubbling away under the surface. Personally l’ve gone through a range of emotions from despair to frustration to isolation and everything in between.
So what is the support available for partners and family for those who have a serious mental health disorder? Well read on……..
PSYCHOEDUCATION - The emerging treatment
Mentioned finally by one of the Psychiatrists my partner saw privately. Psychoeducation is an evidence-based therapeutic intervention for patients and their loved ones that provides information and support to better understand and cope with illness. Generally undertaken by qualified Counsellors or Psychotherapists.
The goals being:
Communicate basic knowledge and competence of patients and their relatives about the illness they are experiencing and/or being diagnosed with.
Provide insight into the illness.
Promote relapse prevention.
Engaging in crisis management and suicide prevention.
Essential components of Psychoeducation sessions
Etiological factors.
Common signs and symptoms.
Awareness regarding the early signs of relapse/recurrence.
How to cope with the situation.
Various treatment options available.
When and how to seek treatment.
Need for adherence to treatment as per the guidance of treating team.
Long-term course and outcome.
Do’s and dont’s for family members while dealing with the patient and their disorder.
Clearing myths and misconceptions dispelling stigma.
Benefits of this Intervention
It is worth noting that Psychoeducation can be individual, family, group, or community based.
Interactive sessions between the therapist, patient and family members.
Support advice relative to the disorder in the form of information leaflets, audio.
Provides knowledge about psychiatric illness and their management.
Helping develop certain skills so that family members can manage the illness more effectively.
Support groups for the family members and partners of the patients in sharing their feelings.
FOR DEPRESSIVE AND ANXIETY RELATED DISORDERS
“After a diagnosis of anxiety and/or a depressive disorder and performing necessary assessments, the mental health professionals should provide detailed information to the patient regarding the symptoms, causes, various treatment options, side effects of medications, need for adherence, and overall course and outcome of the disorder.”
“Apart from medications, the role of nonpharmacological measures such as activity scheduling and regular physical exercise is emphasised. Passive psychoeducation is very popular in patients with anxiety disorders. This involves passing on to the patients’ various resources such as books, pamphlets, or videos which explain clearly various aspects of anxiety disorders. Unlike active psychoeducation, here the therapist does not interact actively with the patient while imparting education about the illness.”
Sarkhel S, Singh OP, Arora M. Clinical Practice Guidelines for Psychoeducation in Psychiatric Disorders General Principles of Psychoeducation. Indian J Psychiatry. 2020 Jan;62(Suppl 2):S319-S323. doi: 10.4103/psychiatry.IndianJPsychiatry_780_19. Epub 2020 Jan 17. PMID: 32055073; PMCID: PMC7001357.
If you are someone you know is struggling here are some resources you can reach out to for SUPPORT via charities.
SUICIDE HELPLINES UK
CALM Helpline 0800 58 58 58
ShoutText SHOUT to 85258
Samaritans 116 123
NHS 111 Option 2
MIND Sane 0300 304 7000
Remember
STAY ALERT for critical signs for yourself or loved ones.
SEEK HELP straight away.
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